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Brené Brown: Blame

FREE WILL? Every person I encounter, I both like and dislike I found through my honest research on myself… Even close family and friends… There’s times when my mind goes full admiration, then that same person admired, 2 weeks later within my personal mind chatter I may find and judge about 2 or 3 of their ‘negatively’ perceived characteristics, only I would be aware of these thoughts, no chance to share verbally… They’re not even thoughts, just snippets actually, floating through mind, how to really define them I’m not sure but my mind trying hard to find trivial fault with them and will succeed in doing so…
When I say like and dislike, I’m fully aware that my mind can wander at any given time and switch from positive to negative thought all on its own for no real reason…. Something I can’t control…. In that respect, I’m not really liking or disliking therefore, it’s just a brain influencing mind, helping me justify my importance / relevance in the world… Others being judged good or bad is part of that process, as I create a status hierarchy and position myself in it… Hopefully quite high… I need people lower than me for that to happen, so without me knowing about it, my mind creates negativity about others… and positive, but not with careful thought based on morals and accountability, it’s based more around an identifying overall narrative created that becomes ‘me’.
In a modern world, raised in UK, that overall narrative developed meant that I wanted to be one of the coolest, maybe cute, sexy, smart, successful…. to stand out as unique in some way too… I’m saying that so easily, exposing myself (not worried) because I can step back and observe, that is me when autopilot is allowed to run free, without thinking about thinking, so in that respect, not really me. Perceptions, reactions, develop accordingly due to circumstances and then an overall identity molds into place… I had nothing to do with it really, fear pulled the trigger and appropriate reactions with all the creative thoughts ensued.
…..and all sorts of mind chatter opinions / thoughts / beliefs come out to make sure my status rank I position nicely within my own perception as I compete… Something like that…….I like me, I’m comfortable with me, but I’m aware that lots of who I am has nothing to do with me thinking about thinking… The brain just some crazy shit mofo that creates appropriate mind… In this paradigm it doesn’t matter… We do not know how to observe that reality and just believe we are in full control of our ship, completely ignorant. I do wonder how they will observe things 500 years from now as knowledge of the brains complexity develops… Will they be convenient liars like us or shifted the paradigm, not afraid to truly observe ego creativity?
Now we live in a world of people, some who are ‘spiritual’ for example, all peace, love, forgiving and oneness, but in 15 seconds I could say something to them (cheekily planned) and they become egotistical monsters or babies… forgetting the peace, love, forgive, oneness in a hurry… We are all full of shit in that respect, no chance to truly observe ourselves and question… Status ranking the most important thing of all. 😉 CREATIVE SURVIVAL…. 🙂
By Panayiotis Stavrou
[Video source: The RSA YouTube channel]